#I tend to run into issues with people who like Some of what I do a great deal

[b1eeding-sun]

Do you have any Pure Vanilla Cookie headcanons?

Oh boy do I!

For starters he's blind. I'm counting this as a headcanon purely because I don't think the entirety of the fandom agrees that it's canon. He doesn't have complete vision loss so he can still vaguely make out some things but he's definitely severely visually impaired. I haven't decided on what exactly his vision would look like but he's definitely got visual snow syndrome (on top of preexisting vision issues)

In a hypothetical modern au that it's unlikely I'll do anything with his guide dog is a black and white standard poodle named Sheep and she is loosely based on my own poodle.

A lot of people tend to underestimate how strong he is (he grew up on a farm doing manual labor and still keeps livestock on the castle grounds, he would have to be fairly muscular)

If he wasn't king/once he gives up the throne I don't think he'd wear the white robes he wears in-game. He only really wears them to keep up appearances. In general he prefers to prioritize comfort and practicality over fashion. I'm brainwashing you to my let Pure Vanilla wear pants propaganda.

Sheep are not the only livestock he has on the castle grounds, he also has chickens at the very least, probably some other animals as well. They all love to cause problems.

He tries to leave as much time as possible for his hobbies like gardening and baking.

He tries to make all of his meals himself instead of having his kitchen staff do it. He honestly tries to do most things himself instead of having his staff do them. Unfortunately for him there's only so many hours in a day and the castle is very large

Chronic stress baker, his friends can usually tell how well he's doing mentally by how many loaves of bread they've been gifted recently.

Very emotionally attached to his sourdough starter.

He doesn't use his staff to assist his sight if he's just walking around his castle, he knows it's layout well enough that it's unnecessary and his staff know not to move things around without his permission.

He has fantasized about leaving all of his responsibilities behind him and just running off to live in a cabin in the woods all by himself but he never would actually go through with it.

He does sometimes curse and it always shocks the absolute hell out of anyone around him when he does.

His love language is either quality time or acts of service

Deathly terrified of disappointing the people around him

He's a vegetarian

There are probably more that I can't remember off the top of my head but I think those are like the main ones.

Here he is in overalls because he seems like the kind of guy who would wear overalls.

And here's Sheep the guide dog!

[lith-myathar]

.

[obstinatecondolement]

I know that most users do not understand a fraction of AO3's functionality and no amount of me yelling at them to git gud is going to change that, but I do wish more people would just mute people whose work they don't like now that we can do that without doing labyrnthine things involving filters and Boolean operators.

Tragically, that is a lot to expect and I should probably just be realistic. And block people who are rude to me because we can do that now too.

[reiding-writing]

Cold!reader who defends Spencer when’s someone’s making fun of his autistic traits, and the teams like “what?????”

STAGNANT — SPENCER REID!

why would someone ask spencer a question if they didn’t want to hear the answer?

late s8!spencer x cold!reader 1.2k fluff? cold!reader masterlist.

main masterlist.

a/n — the cold!reader roster i have atm has me kicking my feet and twirling my hair, stay tuned

You step into the cramped precinct in a town that barely makes the map, the smell of stale coffee and old paper immediately hitting you.

The air hums with tension—murder cases tend to have that effect on a room. Your team disperses, each member diving into their respective tasks like clockwork.

You stay near Spencer, keeping an eye on the board he’s already scouring, his sharp mind undoubtedly miles ahead of everyone else’s.

It doesn’t take long for the local officers to start asking questions. You’ve seen it before: their curiosity morphing into disbelief as they’re confronted with Spencer Reid in full form.

This particular case involves a peculiar type of soil found on the victim’s shoes, and when one officer, a grizzled man named Officer Moore, offhandedly asks about its significance, Spencer lights up.

“It’s fascinating, actually,” he begins, his voice picking up with enthusiasm. “The soil contains traces of montmorillonite clay, which is common in areas with volcanic ash deposits. This specific type is unique to the western side of the county, and based on the composition—” He gestures to the samples bagged on the table, oblivious to the officer’s quickly fading interest.

Spencer continues, lost in his explanation, his words flowing like water over smooth stones. You watch the officer shift uncomfortably, his expression hardening into impatience. The moment Spencer pauses to breathe, Moore cuts in, looking at you with a smirk.

“Is he like this all the time? Never shuts up, huh?”

You freeze. The room, bustling moments ago, seems quieter now. Your team is too far off to hear, but you’re right here. Close enough to feel the sting of the comment.

Spencer doesn’t notice. Or maybe he pretends not to. Either way, it doesn’t sit right with you. The dismissive tone, the condescension dripping from the officer’s words—it sparks a heat under your skin that you don’t bother to hide.

“Are you stupid?” Your voice is sharp, like a knife scraping metal. Moore’s smug expression falters.

“Excuse me-?”

“You heard me,” you continue, stepping closer, your gaze fixed on him. “If you can’t keep up with what Dr. Reid is saying, that’s your problem. He’s giving you answers—solutions—that you clearly wouldn’t find on your own. So maybe try listening instead of running your mouth.”

Moore blinks, taken aback. His hand hovers near the cup of coffee on the table, forgotten. “I didn’t mean—”

“Yeah, you did.” you interrupt, crossing your arms. “And for the record, if he’s too much for you to handle, then stay out of his way, you’ll murk his IQ into single digits.”

The room is quiet now, the subtle hum of computers and distant voices the only sound. Spencer finally looks up, his expression unreadable. There’s a hint of surprise in his eyes, but mostly he just seems... confused.

Moore mutters something under his breath and stalks off, clearly not willing to press the issue further. Good. You watch him go, your blood still simmering.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Spencer says softly, his voice carrying a note of uncertainty.

“Yes, I did,” you reply without hesitation. “He was being a jerk.”

Spencer tilts his head, studying you. “People say things like that all the time.”

“Well, they shouldn’t,” you counter, your tone firm. “And if you wont put your foot down about it then I will.”

For a moment, he just stares at you, as if trying to decipher some hidden code in your words. Then, unexpectedly, he smiles—small and fleeting, but genuine. It feels like a victory, however minor.

—

Later, when the team regroups, the tension in the precinct has eased, though you can still feel a few lingering stares from the local officers.

Hotch gives you all the rundown of the next steps, his voice steady and commanding as always. You nod along, but your focus drifts to Spencer, who’s scribbling something in his notebook, seemingly unbothered by the earlier incident.

As the team breaks off to get to work, Emily sidles up beside you, her dark eyes alight with curiosity. “So,” she begins, drawing out the word. “What was that about?”

“What was what about?” you reply, feigning ignorance.

“That little showdown with Officer Grumpy Pants earlier,” she says, smirking. “Word has it you tore him a new one,”

You shrug. “He was being disrespectful.”

Emily raises an eyebrow. “To Reid?”

“To all of us, honestly,” you say. “But yeah, mostly Reid. He didn’t deserve that.”

Emily studies you for a moment, her smirk softening into something more thoughtful. “Awe how sweet,”

“Don’t start,” you warn, but there’s no real bite to your words. Emily laughs, raising her hands in mock surrender.

“Hey, no judgment,” she says. “It’s just... very human of you.”

“I’m not a robot.”

She gestures vaguely toward you. “Oh hush you know what I mean,”

You roll your eyes but don’t bother arguing. Instead, you glance across the room at Spencer, who’s now deep in conversation with JJ and Rossi. The earlier exchange seems to have rolled off him, as if it never happened.

But you know better. You’ve seen the way comments like that stick, the way they fester in that moment f hesitation before he speaks. You’re not sure why it matters so much to you—why he matters so much—but you don’t dwell on it.

—

The case drags on into the evening, the pieces of the puzzle slowly falling into place. By the time the unsub is in custody and the team is preparing to head back to the jet, exhaustion hangs heavy in the air.

As you gather your things, Morgan claps a hand on your shoulder. “Hey, Ice Queen,” he says, his tone teasing. “You did good.”

“Thank you? I was doing my job.” you reply, shooting him a bemused look.

He chuckles. “Not with the case, sweetness. Word is you went full gladiator on one of the locals earlier.”

“Word travels way too fast in this team,” you mutter.

Morgan grins. “What can I say? We’re a nosy bunch. But it’s nice to know you haven’t lost your bite now you’re saddled up to boy wonder.”

He gestures with his head towards where Spencer was sleeping on the jet’s couch, wrapped in a cheap blanket like baby.

You fight back the urge to smile.

“I never changed,” you say dryly.

Morgan laughs, but there’s a glimmer of respect in his eyes. “Sure you did,”

“No I didn’t,”

He nudges your shoulder, a whisper of “You’ll admit it one day,” before he walks off.

[bunni-v1]

Wriothesley SFW & NSFW Headcannons

🍓The offical Bunni Wrio headcannons. Long time coming for me and my husband. I really wish I had the money (that also doesn't need to go into me feeding myself for the next four months) to commission an artist to draw him and my OC together. I'm so regular and normal about him. Anyway, please enjoy my thoughts. I'm a humble loser.

TW: NSFW; Rough Sex; Choking mentioned

Info: Wriothesley x Reader; NSFW below the cut; gn!reader (no explicit body parts or pronouns used); use of "walls" to refer to sexual organs

Word Count: 5.5k

-Wriothesley is both incredibly complex and very simple at the same time, and he doesn’t care if anyone but him understands that fact. He doesn’t need to be understood by anyone else, though he does appreciate it when his friends go out of their way to accommodate him.

-Quite honestly, there are only two people in Teyvat who understand the way he ticks, and he only regularly interacts with one of them. Part of this is honestly because he can’t be bothered to deepen most relationships when he’s so isolated from other people, and a more… honest and vulnerable part of him knows that he doesn’t really enjoy being known.

-His childhood being stripped from him did a number on his ability to trust, as it would any other person. He’s built up a nice, tall, icy wall between himself and most others. He’s not unreachable, of course, but most people don’t even try to get to know him when they see how guarded he is. 

-Again, he doesn’t mind it. He likes the freedom it gives him, and it means he doesn’t have to worry about complicated relationships. He has enough difficulties on his plate from running the fortress in the first place, there’s no need to have any extra stressors.

-Needless to say, romance isn’t something on his mind. At all. In fact, he’s likely never had any kind of romantic relationship. He never had the chance to have one, and he naturally assumes that it’s not his thing. 

-Not to say that he’s never felt anything toward anyone, he’s human, he just never acts on it. He can also easily clock when someone is attracted to him, and makes a mental note to shut them down as quickly and efficiently as possible. If he can’t, he just avoids them. 

-It’s not a fear of romance, nor a disinterest in it, Wriothesley just cannot be bothered. While yes, he has plenty of free time around the fortress, he also lives there. It would be cruel to any potential partner on the surface for him to accept their advances, and anyone in the fortress was either his employee or a prisoner, and excuse him for not wanting that kind of power dynamic in his life.

-Wriothesley was content being single for the rest of his life, down under the sea in his quiet office with no one to bother him. Then you come into his life.

-Sent down to the fortress from Neuivilette after Sigewinne expressed worry about him overworking himself. She tended to mother him a little too much, and Neuivillette listened to her faithfully every time she worried about him. 

-It wouldn’t be much of an issue… If Wriothesley didn’t find himself so stumped on what to give you to work on. He had a good routine that he was used to, and it got things done efficiently, so there wasn’t really anything for you to do. But when you look at him with those pretty eyes, he can’t help but find some excuse to keep you in the office with him just a little longer.

-He doesn’t immediately fall for you, of course. It’s more like a slow flutter down a thousand-foot cavern, unsure of what was at the bottom, but certain that he was falling.

-It just starts as a business, of course. You were technically his superior, as a direct aide of Neuivillette, he had to answer to you more than you did to him. You never really treated it like that, though. You were witty and playful, matching his quick tongue with your own smart jabs. It was nice to have someone on the same wavelength, and this naturally led to more friendly conversations about things outside of work.

-You start spending time with him far longer than you need to, way after either of you has finished your duties for the day, and it doesn’t take a genius to tell what's going on. There’s just one problem… Wriothesley can be a bit… dense when it comes to actual romantic tension.

-He isn’t stupid, of course, he can tell that there’s something there… but he second-guesses himself. He just doesn’t believe that you could possibly be genuinely interested in him; he brushes off the flirting, acts like he doesn’t notice the tension, and eventually, you’re called back to the surface without anything happening.

-It’s easy to shrug off everything for him, chalking it up to circumstances and nothing more. He can’t deny how it stings a little that you could easily act like it never happened, not receiving any letters sucks, but he can’t blame you. Again, he doesn’t believe he’s built for romance.

-He thinks he’s handling the whole thing fine, but Sigewinne clocks him faster than he can say his own name. She points out that within a week that he seems mopey, and that if he misses you so much, he should just visit or send a letter. Of course, he doesn’t, because that requires a level of vulnerability he admits he just doesn’t have in him yet.

-Luckily, he doesn’t need to take that first step. Pleasantly surprised when you make an unannounced visit to his office, only about a month after you initially left. He thinks that maybe Neuivilette had sent you back, but you’re not dressed like you normally would be for a shift with him. (You look very good in your casual clothes, which fluster him quite a bit more than he’s willing to admit aloud.)

-No, you hadn’t come for work or anything like that, you had – with flushed cheeks and eyes dodging his – come just to see him. You admit you had missed your chats, and thought that maybe he might’ve as well. Hoped that he had. And oh, you have no idea what it does to his heart.

-He’s not a musician, but his heart broke out into a symphony that thrummed through his whole body. 

-From there, you become a regular part of his week, coming down to his office at the same time once, then twice, then nearly every day in a week. He finds himself sulking when you can’t make your regular meetings, and feels as if he is on cloud nine when he sees you. He never expected himself to be such a hopeless sap, but he supposes those romance novels weren’t exactly wrong about how much love can change someone.

-Talks over tea turn into gentle, flirty touches. Not so subtle hints at something more, but neither of you is really pushing any further. It’s a very slow build of confidence for Wriothesley, and every interaction reassures him of your shared feelings. It gives him confidence to take the next step, to go a little further, to finally put a label on things instead of pretending nothing's there.

-It’s cute how he goes about it, too. Normally, you’re the one to come down to him after you’re done with work, but instead, he greets you in the lobby of the Palais de Mermonia. He’s got a bouquet of your favorite flowers and the biggest grin on his face – he even cleaned up a bit! 

-It makes you feel silly seeing him all dolled up when you’re still in your work clothes, but he doesn’t seem to mind as he hands you the flowers. Officially asking you on your first date, which is an even cuter picnic watching the sun set together.

-He’s quite a hopeless sap when it comes down to it, he’s very enamored by you, and he does get a little caught up in the newness of it all. It’s still completely genuine on his part, though. While he might have rose-tinted glasses on, he really does feel that deeply for you, and he makes good on showing you that affection.

-Now, before I get into the meat of the cutesy shit with him, we need to acknowledge some of the problems he might have as your partner.

-Firstly, Wriothesley is a very emotionally stunted person. He wasn’t shown affection for a good part of his childhood, and the affection he did receive was coated in deceit, so he struggles to express himself when it counts. He’s great at setting and respecting boundaries, but genuine emotions? Well… count him out. 

-He really struggles to open up to you, despite how much he knows he should – how much he wants to. It’s just not something that comes easily from him. He needs patience, understanding, and maybe a bit of handholding through it all. 

-It is a slow crawl through a lot of cold shoulders and gentle deflection, but he tries his best, and he gets there eventually. He still doesn’t really like to bog you down with his own issues, but if you reach out to him and ask him what's bothering him, he’ll tell you. He’ll allow you to take care of him and worry over his well-being and collude with Sigewinne to get him to take breaks.

-Even when he isn’t willing to let you inside, he’s still appreciative of your efforts, and he shows you through subtle acts of service. Quiet thanks for worrying, even though he’s just not ready to let you see the more broken sides of him.

-Another issue that runs right along this one is his problems with trusting, not just you, but pretty much anyone who isn’t Neuvilette or Sigewinne. (He thinks he also trusts Chlorinde, at least professionally, and Navia is nice enough, but he won’t be spilling his life secrets to either of them.)

-Naturally, you’ve already won him over a bit, so you have more of an advantage than most other people, but he’s not really transparent to start. He’s kind of mysterious, giving you little hints, but never quite letting you past the surface of the sea.

-You’re curious about his past, most people are – what with the giant fucking scars all over his body. Anyone would want to know where their partner got them, and it’s not like he’s ashamed of them… he just doesn’t want you to think of him like that.

-He doesn’t want you to know how helpless he felt all those years ago, the terrible things he did to stay alive, and how hard he fought to get to the point he was at now. Most people would call it a triumphant story, but Wriothesley wants his past to stay in his past. You were his future, and he didn’t want to see the pity in your eyes when he told you about that part of him.

-Yet, no matter how hard he tried, it was a part of him that he couldn’t get rid of. If he wanted a life with you, he was going to have to tell you at some point. He would rather he be the one to get the story to you, rather than someone else (like Neuvilette, who would tell you if you played your cards right.)

-It’s hard for him to tell you, and even harder to see how gentle you are to him as he talks. There’s a sadness in your eyes that makes his heart ache, but you don’t treat him like he’s helpless. You just let him talk, and you listen, and when he’s done, you tell him that it doesn’t change the way you think about him at all.

-You don’t make it a big deal, you just… accept it. It’s nice, and while he doesn’t know how to express that appreciation properly, he knows you know how much it means to him. You always seem to know him better than he realizes, and he thinks you can say the same about him.

-I also mentioned earlier that there’s the issue of him living in the fortress. I know most people headcannon he has a place above the surface, but that just doesn’t really feel in character for him. He has no real reason (before you) to have a home on the mainland of Fontaine, so why would he waste his time and money picking out and decorating a home when he lives in his office most days?

-After getting with you, though, he has to find a way to bridge that physical gap between the two of you more efficiently. Sure, he gets to see you nearly every day when you’re finished with work, but you always return to the surface, and he doesn’t get to wake up to you ever. 

-His solution? Sleep shifts. One night he’ll come up to your place on the surface, the next you’ll stay down with him. It’s not the most efficient method, but he isn’t going to make you stay in the fortress with him, and he can’t reasonably live above ground all the time in case something happens that needs his attention.

-He loves the domesticity of seeing you when he first wakes up. You look so good with your hair all messy and drool pooling on your pillow. It’s not something he’d ever been afforded in his life, so he savors the little moments that he gets to have with you. Frequently, you wake up to him stroking your hair tenderly, watching you with all the love in the world.

-Something else he really loves is making breakfast with you. Whether he’s cooking or you are, it doesn’t matter; dancing around the kitchen while pancakes cook on the stove is a fantasy he’d never imagined he’d be allowed to live out.

-Oh, he also loves it when you help him shave his facial hair. If you like it, he’ll let it grow out a little longer than he normally would, but Sigewinne always complains past a certain point. To keep both of you happy, he lets you shave him when you both have free time.

-Seated on the edge of the sink in the bathroom, he stands between your legs with his hands on your thighs, purring out sweet nothings as you carefully run the razor over the sensitive skin beneath his jaw. It’s a surprisingly intimate moment you get to share with him, somehow made romantic with the way he holds you so close and gazes at you with unspeakable affection.

-It takes a lot of trust to let someone hold a sharp blade to your neck, and while this isn’t the same thing, it’s got the same feel.

-Something to note about Wriothesley is just how gentle he is with you. Regardless of if you’re bigger than him or not, he handles you the same way. He’s never rough with you. He never grabs you, he never pushes you, and he doesn’t ever yell at you either.

-It’s important to him that you feel safe around him. He doesn’t want you to know the sheer terror he had to face as a young child, learning that he was going to be sold off and likely slaughtered by the people who were supposed to love him.

-He does love you, with no secret motive, and he spends every second with you, displaying that with every fiber of his being. Every touch is soft, every word is chosen carefully, and every act of service is made with complete consideration of what you want. It’s like he knows what you need far before you can even think of it, and he makes it seem so effortless. It’s not, though, it’s very intentional and just a silent gesture he uses to show you how much he cares.

-Even when you argue, Wriothesley does not raise his voice. You will never hear him speak to you the way he speaks to the prisoners of the Fortress. He respects you, even when he is angry or when you are screaming at him. His cold demeanor can come off as uncaring, but you come to realize that he is acting that way because he cares. He would never raise his voice to you, ever. He loves you too much to see you cower under the weight of that.

-This bleeds into his fierce need to protect you. You are an adult, you can take care of yourself, but boy, does he want to do it all for you.

-It’s not an ego thing, nor is it a power thing; he just really likes taking care of you. It isn’t even something that’s really obvious, mostly subtle little shows of care. Like him checking in and seeing if you’ve eaten, or massaging your knots out of your back, or letting you nap on his couch after a long day. It’s usually sweet manifestations like that.

-Usually.

-As the warden of the biggest prison system in Fontaine (the only prison system in Fontaine), Wriothesley has his fair share of people who wish him ill. Comes with the job description, and it isn’t like he didn’t have that even before taking his place as Duke of the Fortress. He can take the heat, it’s not an issue for him.

-What is an issue, however, is when that ire for him is turned toward you.

-Most times it’s just stupid prisoners making a passing comment, (which he doesn’t tolerate either, but doesn’t make a big show out of. A few sharp words shuts them up quickly enough.) You brush them off fine on your own, and you can pack a punch thanks to him, so he doesn’t worry much about them.

-The issue lies with those who mean to harm him. As the Duke of the Fortress and a Pankration champion, most prisoners know he’s pretty untouchable. They don’t have the influence to undo him, and they can’t beat him in a fight. There wasn’t much to hold against him… until there was you.

-It’s no secret to those living in the fortress just how much Wriothesley adores you, you’re quite the soft spot for him. It’s obvious that those who want to get to him would try to use you to achieve that. It’s just… they never really get far enough to do anything in most cases.

-Wriothesley is so attentive to you that he can just get in the way of any plans they might have. If he can’t stop them from trying, usually a show that he knows what they’re doing is enough to get them off you. But there are the brave, stupid few.

-If anyone, and I mean anyone, tries to cause you harm intentionally, they’re a dead man walking. The second they lay a hand on you, their life is essentially over. He’s not above beating the point into their skull if he needs to. Poor Sigewinne has quite a troublesome case on her hands after that.

-Forbid if they actually lay their hands on you. It takes all of his self-restraint not to kill them, which he does not do, because he has a lot of self-control. It doesn’t stop the thought from running through his mind over and over as he escorts them to a high-security cell, though.

-While he cannot legally kill anyone, he works very hard to keep them locked up and stuck with him for as long as possible. They also become a social recluse in the Fortress, as most prisoners and employees are rather fond of you.

-It’s not a side of himself he’s proud of, which is why he tries his best not to let you see it, but it’s part of him nonetheless. He just cannot afford to lose you for any reason. You are the most important thing in his life, and losing you would devastate him to a point he’s never seen before. 

-Other than that, he is usually a very gentle and loving man, wholly devoted to your relationship.

-He values any time that he gets to spend with you, be that sitting quietly in his office doing things separately but together, or having you settled in his lap as he works. It doesn’t matter much so long as he has you there. 

-Speaking of, he is very physically affectionate. You wouldn’t imagine him to be, but with a partner, he just has a need to touch. He’ll settle a hand on your waist, an arm around your shoulder, press a kiss to your temple, pull you into his lap as he works, and pretty much anything that he can get from you, he’ll take.

-Something particularly charming is that when he passes you, he’ll pull you to the side so that he can kiss you. Then he moves on with his day like nothing happened. It leaves you flustered, but it’s so sweet that you can’t find yourself getting mad about it.

-He’s also a tease, through and through. He’s always poking fun at you and making silly comments to get you to smile. It’s just the way he expresses comfort around people, but he really knows how to get under your skin.

-Don’t worry, though, for as much as he can annoy you, he’s doubly sweet and caring. He always knows what you need far before you need it, and if he doesn’t, he makes sure that he can get what you need done as soon as possible.

-He’s reliable, a sturdy rock for you to lean on when you need someone there for you. While you have some issues, what couple doesn’t? Wriothesley is more than willing to go through whatever highs and lows with you, so long as it means both of you can stay happy in love for as long as possible.

NSFW :3c

-Wriothesley’s relationship with sex isn’t something that he likes to talk about for a multitude of reasons.

-He’s not some touch-starved helpless virgin, but he also isn’t the most experienced. Most of his experience in bed comes from a mutual need to get off when he was still a prisoner, a sort of agreement between him and a select few partners that kept them satisfied.

-It was rough and aggressive and honestly a little shameful looking back on it now, not something he really wanted to think about too hard. Certainly not how he wanted to have sex with you, it felt too… disconnected from his feelings.

-He also didn’t want to force things; your first time should be natural, but also intimate. He wanted to lay you out on his (or your, whichever was closest) bed and take his time with it, not bend you over his desk and make you take it. (He could do that, if you wanted him to, but not for your first time together. He was really trying not to live up to the hardened prison warden stereotype, after all.)

-Even with his own expectations in mind, he mostly wanted it to feel good. He wanted things to flow together without needing to push or pull, and he didn’t want you to feel like you had to do anything for him. 

-Yeah… the level-headed Wriothesley was 100% overthinking things. You can’t blame him, though! He’s never really had sex for anything more than a feeling, and he wanted you to feel loved, not like you were an object for his own pleasure.

-This leads to him subconsciously rebuffing your advances like an idiot. You weren’t in the right place, he didn’t have any protection, it was getting too late, blah blah blah. He kept making excuses in his head as to why you wouldn’t want to have sex, when it was really him complicating things needlessly.

-Luckily for you, you had an ace up your sleeve! Sigewinne, your little gossip buddy in the fortress, heard all your woes of Wriothesley potentially not finding you attractive enough to have sex with. He seemingly never wanted to be with you, no matter what you tried or how eager you seemed.

-She shows up to his office one day with a box of condoms and some lube and tells him to get it over with or she’ll have to mix up a special little remedy to deal with it herself.

-Not wanting his first time with you to be under the influence of an aphrodisiac, he takes the hint and mentally prepares to make a move. He’s still nervous as hell because there are a million what-ifs running through his head, but the second you walk through his office doors, it’s like all of that melts away.

-Having the thought of “I’m going to do this” rather than “Should I do this” really helped him out. His usual confident and assured demeanor is back, and when you seem to imply you’d like to spend some alone time in his bedroom together, he tosses you over his shoulder (playfully, of course) and does just that.

-He allows you to take the lead the first time, mostly because he needs to figure out what you like before he can confidently guide you. So, lucky you, one of your first sexual encounters with him is sucking his dick! (The little “Oh wow” you let out seeing his size was an ego booster for sure. The following: “You think it’ll fit?” made his head as big as his dick.)

-He’s someone who learns over time, so it takes him a few times with you before he starts actively pursuing sex. He takes note of things he does that seem to get you hot and bothered. Like the way he tugs at his tie when he’s feeling overworked, or how you stare shamelessly as his arms while he’s moving things around, oh and his ass of course. That’s a fan favorite, it seems.

-It’s a slow thing, but over time, he starts using those little ticks against you. When he’s feeling needy, he makes you feel needy too. There’s a nice sense of pride he gets when you pursue him, especially when he knows you weren’t the one in the mood first.

-It’s also nice to know that he isn’t pushing any boundaries when you come to him for sex first, so he really only engages you like that if he’s sure it’s something you want. He would rather live through a hundred life sentences than ever make a move that you don’t want.

-It’s really sweet, but it can result in him getting… pent up rather frequently. The two of you already rarely have time for sex, and his suppressing his desire doesn’t exactly help either of your positions at all.

-It makes sessions after longer periods without sex come off as more… rough than he would like. He really does want to be gentle and loving with you, but he also really likes the feel of bending you in half. Quite the conundrum he’s got himself in.

-He’ll bring this fact up to you, and if you give him the okay to be rough? Well, have fun! 

-Wriothesley likes it rough, as much as he wishes he could be the sweet, loving, gentle partner all the time, he can’t help that his brain lights up like a switchboard when he sees you struggling so hard against him. It stems from all that time he spends being in control of the prison; it’s very hard for him to let that go, even for you.

-Still, communication is much more important to him. You have very long conversations with him about what is and is not okay, establish a safeword that both of you can easily remember in the heat of the moment, and always make sure that both of you understand that one of you can say no at any time and it’s done.

-So, what does he like?

-Well, he likes it when you fight him. Be that verbally or physically, the fastest way to get him hot and bothered is to act like a brat. You can show that you’re smart and witty, which is already attractive enough to him, but having you intentionally get under his skin? You'd better hope no one will be needing him anytime soon.

-He has fun putting you in your place and reminding you who exactly tops who in the relationship. He even entertains you sometimes, letting you think you’re getting away with your smart ass mouth, only to suddenly bend you over his desk and remind you of your position with him.

-He doesn’t talk much, though, so don’t expect him to verbally degrade you. He thinks the position and the rough treatment should be enough to get the message across. Sometimes he might growl out a little comment about how desperate you are for him, but otherwise he’s mostly grunts and groans. 

-If you physically fight back against his hold, it excites him more. It’s very unlikely you could overpower him, so all of your efforts are futile, and yet you still seem to try every single time. You push and punch and squirm, but it always ends the same way with your legs over his shoulders and hands pinned above your head.

-It’s also a given he’s into restraining you. With his need for control and easy access to legitimate prison-grade restraints, there’s just no way he doesn’t use that to his advantage. Usually, he’ll just cuff your hands to the headboard or behind your back, but occasionally he’ll bring out more heavy-duty stuff at your begging.

-Oh, that’s another thing. He won’t ever ask you to do it, because it’s an odd request in his eyes, but he loves it when you beg. He’ll get you teary-eyed and whining, and the only way to get him to snap out of his teasing is to beg him to let you cum. It works like a charm every single time.

-He also loves to overstimulate you to the point of tears. He can spend hours between your legs pushing you over the edge and watching you cum over and over for him. He thinks you’re so cute when you whine at him like that, and if you don’t tell him to stop, he probably won’t.

-He doesn’t even care about his own pleasure; he’s just so obsessed with watching you fall apart under his touch. His cold blue eyes will stare you down through the whole ordeal, watching every little twitch of your expression with rapt attention. It’s wholly overwhelming to have his intense eyes watching your every little move, but so damn hot at the same time.

-If he isn’t looking at your face, he’s likely watching the way you take him. He just can’t stop himself from staring, it’s an addicting sight to see how he sinks into you over and over – be that his fingers or his cock, it doesn’t matter. It’s mesmerizing all the same.

-And if you pleasure yourself for him? All the better. It’s nice to see you struggle to get off when he knows he can do it so much faster than you can. Almost cute the way you pout up at him when you were the one who asked him to keep his hands to himself.

-He likes to feel you, too, most of the time putting you in positions where as much skin as humanly possible is touching. The way your body reacts beneath his touch is dizzying, he can feel the pleasure twitching through your muscles as he holds you close. Oh, and feeling the air force its way out of your lungs as his hand wraps around your throat is another kind of addiction he didn’t know existed.

-The last, rather odd kink he has, one that he’s very ashamed of, is that he’s huge on smelling you. He’d lean down between your legs and just get a whiff if he could, but since that would be a bit too obvious, he settles for burying his nose into your shoulder and smelling your sweat-slick skin that way.

-Doesn’t stop him from sneaking your used underwear and pocketing it for later use – usually when he’s having a particularly rough day, he’ll bring it out and get a nice long sniff of you. Always gets his ass going until he can see you again and really let his stress out.

-Now, I mentioned earlier that he’s pretty impressive in size, and I wasn’t joking. He’s big for a regular human man. About six and a half inches long, his dick curves upward and slightly to the right, perfect for abusing your gummy little walls. He has several veins, the most prominent being one along the left side of it stopping about halfway up. 

-He’s slightly darker than his actual complexion, and his tip is a pretty light red color, flatter than most other men's. The stretch he gives you is instant, as he only flares out a little from the tip. He’s about 5 inches around, too, meaning he’s not just long. Also, he’s uncircumcised, so do with that what you will.

-He knows how to keep a good balance between rough and soft, and he’s usually more intuitive about what you’re looking for in a given session than what he’s looking for from you. He doesn’t want you to think he only wants you for your body, and as such, he tries to make at least one session in a week soft and gentle if he has the time.

-Sex is a stress reliever for him, yes, but it’s also an expression of trust and love from both of you. He trusts you enough to let you see him in such a vulnerable state, and you trust him enough to treat you the way he does, because you know he would never go out of his way to hurt you ever.

[fxirybun]

☕ PAC: some facts about your next partner

not my usual way of making a pac reading ‘cause this time i'm gonna use the bullet form ^_^

this is a collective reading ! take what resonates and leave what doesn't. i cannot guarantee 100% accuracy. take the pac reading lightly ჱ̒ ｰ̀֊ｰ́ )

ෆ⸒⸒ book 📓

𐙚 came from a very rich family or has a wealthy background.

𐙚 they're not into "labels" or jump into a relationship quickly.

𐙚 may possibly have a small circle of friends in their life.

𐙚 an introvert or a quite type , your next partner prefers to be lowkey.

𐙚 has this magnetic charm that makes others feel drawn by them without even trying.

𐙚 mysterious to the point you won't figure them out right away.

𐙚 may prolly be into something artsy stuff.

𐙚 very independent and doesn't like clingy people around them.

𐙚 has a resting b*tch face or rbf look.

𐙚 has a lot of goals in their life they wish to achieved now.

𐙚 is very successful with their career , earns a lot of money from it.

𐙚 you're expected to meet them in some random , unplanned way. a possibility of a friend who will introduce you to this person.

𐙚 may have issues with their family but still has a lot of fond for them.

𐙚 super practical with their things and doesn't tend to overspend.

𐙚 this person is into slow burn romance when it comes to love.

𐙚 it takes time to get to know them 'cause they be hiding something.

𐙚 your next partner has trust issues due to their past.

𐙚 they've gone through a lot which has changed them drastically.

𐙚 knows how to bounce back from whatever the universe has thrown at them.

𐙚 they're worth the effort to go for them so..

𐙚 once they're starting to open up to you , they're all in for the ride.

𐙚 geez once you got into a rs with them , they're gonna be hella flirty.

𐙚 their love language is words of affirmation , a smooth talker.

𐙚 loves giving tons of compliments to make you feel confident about yourself.

𐙚 the type to surprise you with little things that you may not notice.

𐙚 an example is trying to match with your pfp whilst you're unaware.

𐙚 emotional af 'cause they feel things deeply. once they care , they're gonna care hard.

𐙚 is into aesthetics , trying to look good about themselves 24/7.

𐙚 may into decorating their room or space that suits their taste.

𐙚 possibly into spirituality or at least has a belief on something.

EXTRAS : water , fire , & earth energies , leo , aries , cancer , virgo , capricorn , sun , venus , mercury , saturn , very intuitive or psychic , has daddy vibes / dom , puts faith in the universe , sees things that others don't , knows how to balance their schedule , 4 , 6 , 3 , 2 , E , Z , Y , B , L , 10:10 , 3:33 , 666 , 555 , 4:44 , paris , dove , leaf , heart , anchor.

ෆ⸒⸒ drinks🧋

𐙚 they're a bit guarded with their emotions at first.

𐙚 doesn't fall in love very easily , is lowkey bad at catching feelings.

𐙚 slow to open up at first but once they do they're gonna act deep.

𐙚 very active online , always stay on trends about what's going on.

𐙚 not into dating apps , you may meet them irl , or through social media. may also try to slide into your dms.

𐙚 may not be into oversharing but once they feel comfortable you'll be shocked about the things they gonna say.

𐙚 your next partner can be the type who asks a lot of questions.

𐙚 super curious to know things , can be a yapper at times.

𐙚 loves to engage in deep convos with others , they're very smart.

𐙚 their mind runs in motions ‘cause they be absorbing a lot of infos.

𐙚 knows how to create jokes or just them acting all witty.

𐙚 an info junkie , gives random facts , trivias , or conspiracy theories.

𐙚 the type who's a workaholic , they be grinding their ass off to work.

𐙚 may have multiple jobs : one main & other a side hustle / freelance.

𐙚 has a perfectionist streak , tends to double-check everything.

𐙚 always going through a glow-up process in their lives.

𐙚 your next partner can be a bit sentimental about their past.

𐙚 example is still keeping their fave hoodie back from high school.

𐙚 lowkey a romantic person but doesn't show it in obvious ways.

𐙚 a detail freak , they be noticing the tiniest things you wouldn't even think of.

𐙚 even though they're serious they still got their playful energy within them.

𐙚 not the most to be open but very loyal once they're in for a rs.

𐙚 has a good relationship with their mother.

𐙚 your next partner is wiser beyond their years.

𐙚 they do vibe checks on others due to how intuitive they are.

𐙚 can read the room and know what's going on.

𐙚 very talented in one area , whether it's art , music , etc.

𐙚 if someone did them dirty they gonna cut them off quickly.

𐙚 the type who is "forgive but never forget" kind of person.

𐙚 faced a lot of heavy situations yet they remained triumph over it.

EXTRAS : water , earth , & air energies , cancer , gemini , virgo , scorpio , moon , mercury , pluto , dealt with heartbreak before , likes to form connections , may take time to rest as a way to recharge their social battery , waiting for their efforts to come into fruition , 4 , 3 , 2 , H , O , J , C , M , 444 , 5:55 , 1:11 , 12:12 , 4:44 , 666 , clover , star , cupid's arrow , eyeglasses , unicorn.

ෆ⸒⸒ paint 🎨

𐙚 your next partner is giving golden retriever vibes , likes to hug from behind.

𐙚 the kind of person who can light up the room by just being there.

𐙚 can turn any bad day around with their sense of humor.

𐙚 this person is very responsible with whatever they're doing.

𐙚 acts ambitious and is seen as a go-getter for some people.

𐙚 is patient with everything but may tend to miss out on things.

𐙚 the reason : they think that the world runs on their time.

𐙚 your next partner always think before they do something.

𐙚 you can always rely on them when you need help with tasks.

𐙚 this person acts or seen as the “mother” of a whole friend group.

𐙚 someone who's faithful but can be a lil bit sensitive at times.

𐙚 very creative with something that is seen as an inspiration for others.

𐙚 may have a hidden talent like painting , writing , music , etc.

𐙚 there are tons of people who look up to them as their role model.

𐙚 this person could possibly be a psychic or has a good intuition.

𐙚 a sharp thinker that enjoys engaging in deep conversations.

𐙚 smart and isn’t afraid to speak up their mind about a topic.

𐙚 they take no bs from others and remains true to themselves only.

𐙚 knows how to balance their time with work and relationships.

𐙚 your next partner values honesty in communication.

𐙚 always down for trying new things or having some fun with you.

𐙚 a good support buddy for their friends , has a "ride or die" energy.

𐙚 has a knack for seeing the bright side in every difficult situations.

𐙚 this person is into friendly debates that challenges the norms.

𐙚 they're all about that getting the "bag" and they're serious about it.

𐙚 somehow i kept on getting the lyrics "i need a big boy , give me a big boy" lmao.

𐙚 lowkey has simp vibes or a hopeless romantic but they don't show it right away.

𐙚 has a chill energy or simply the type who has that go-with-the-flow attitude.

𐙚 this person can act as your safe place when life gets messy for you.

𐙚 they don't stress themselves over the little things.

EXTRAS : fire , water , earth , air energies , leo , taurus , virgo , cancer , pisces , libra , gemini , sun , saturn , mercury , moon , neptune , venus , very truthful with their words , this person is physically strong , a lover boy / girl at heart , loves the whole ides of romance in general , has a strong spiritual ties with their ancestors , 1 , 2 , 8 , 7 , C , I , V , R , S , 12:12 , 3:33 , 999 , 666 , 777 , music note , monkey , made with love , rose , fairy.

[astuteology]

🌡~My take on scorpio placements ~

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

☆ scorpio in the 7th house- usually get cheated on by their partners. Go through Toxic/ narcissistic partners at some point in their lives. 3rd party situations. Partners lying and deceiving you.

☆ scorpio mars- usually center of attention (attention grabber not seeker). Females with this placement tend to attract jealously from their so called friends or just other people in general. Men tends to sexualize them alot, May have spread rumors about them at some point.

Men with this placement, if underdeveloped, tends to be toxic af. The need to control everyone and everything around them is just awful. Fuck around a lot. Sleeping with different different people.

If developed, good achievers. Very strategic mindset. Usually get what they want in life. Bulletproof mindset. Very good at talking to people but still maintaining boundaries. Loyal.

☆scorpio suns- idk why and how, but when people get to know that someone is a scorpio, they get weirdly attracted to them??? Like staring at them, wanting to know them. Intimidated by them.

☆scorpio sun/moons- have a good sense of humour. They can make anyone laugh. And with this, they tend to attract alot of people who wants to be in a relationship with them.

☆scorpio venus- won't say a loyal lover HOWEVER when they love love, they are loyal 100%. Underdeveloped can lie about being in love.

☆retrograde scorpio venus- feels unlovable. Extreme trust issues. Highly sensitive. Very very very high on trust. You know how they say scorpios take tests? With this placement? Tests x 100. Don't give 2nd chances. It's very very difficult for them to be vulnerable. People have rejected them alot. May have been body shamed or criticised for looks. They feel like they don't deserve to be loved.

☆scorpio stellium in the natal chart- highly intuitive. Usually sees things beforehand. POWER. THE DARKNESS. THE EYES!!! Very beautiful people inside out. However they don't trust easily but if they do, for the love of lord, don't break it cuz you'll be coming back again and again to win them over.

☆scorpio moon- been through some serious shit. Been through hell and back with themselves. They understand people very well. However, they don't get the same understanding in return. They can see right through you so don't f with them. Hate mind games.

☆scorpio rising- very very intimidating. Females with this placement tends to attract jealousy in any form. People want to dominate you so bad. People telling them to tone it down. Basically people don't like your mindset, it triggers them cuz they can't have power over you. Hates 2 faced people. And the irony is, they usually deal with 2 faced people.

☆scorpio lilith- highly seductive. Very attractive. Sex appeal. Feelings run deep for them. Had people who wanted them only for sexual pleasures, wanted to touch them in any way. High vibration scorpio lilith is THE HEALER. also I've seen yall had some near death experiences?? Or witnessed someone dying in front of you.

☆ scorpio mercury- moves in silence. Very strategic and careful. Committed to anything they put their mind into. Always ready to be one on one while fighting. Their way of talking is very intense and mysterious which makes people wanna know how do you think like that. When they say something they really mean it. They take their time. Expects the worst. They figure things out so fast so don't even think of gaslighting them.

☆Scorpio in the 10th house- achievers. From a young age they had an insight of what they will become. Hold power in their work environment. If your a student, your classmates want to steal your notes, they feel envious that you make pretty good notes of whatever you're studying cuz yall go in depth and make pretty good observations of the topics. Authority figures.

☆scorpio in the 5th- gets extreme reactions from people. Ofcourse with any other placements, attracts jealousy. (Bruh I don't get it, what's with the scorpios dealing with alot of jealousy???? Like that's tiring) Grabs attention in parties, get togethers or any form of social gatherings. May have dealt with people wanting to take your partners. May have overly strict parents or very fucked up family issues.

That's it for now🫶🏻

[copperbadge]

Hi Sam! IIRC, you've been diagnosed with exercise-induced asthma. Would you be willing to talk about it/the process for figuring it out?

Sure! Although I'm not sure how much help it will be. The process of getting diagnosed was pretty informal.

Basically, it began with tumblr -- someone asked how I dealt with leg cramps from running and I said I didn't really get leg pain too badly, most of the discomfort I had was in my chest and throat from breathing heavily. Someone else commented to say that it sounded like I had exercise-induced asthma, which I didn't even know was a thing. At that point the breathing issues had started to impact my stamina -- I was running less because I just couldn't breathe -- so the next time I saw my doctor, I told him what I'd been experiencing and brought up the idea.

My doc basically said it was likely and we could do tests if I wanted, but in his opinion the best test was simply to prescribe me an Albuterol inhaler and see if it worked. Two puffs, five to ten minutes before running, would at least ease the breathing difficulties. Albuterol isn't especially controlled and wasn't that hard to get at the time (2019) so it was a rational way to test, and it seemed to work. It didn't fully fix the problem but for a while it did enough.

For what it's worth, the actual diagnostic test is some kind of treadmill run stamina test. I've never had one.

In any case, the problem became that because I only used the inhaler sparingly, by the time I needed a new one, my prescription had expired. I kept either having to get a new scrip or just do without. Then the pandemic hit and inhalers became impossible to get for a while -- and honestly I wanted people who actually needed rescue inhalers to have them. But I couldn't run without something to help with the breathing issues, so I did a little research -- I was looking for over-the-counter solutions to the problem. What I did find made me laugh -- this was May or June of 2020, a few months into quarantine, and the solution I found in an article from 2014 was to wear a flu mask while running.

Well, I had plenty of those, so the next time I went running I wore one of the cotton covid masks I'd made, and sure enough it basically fixed the problem -- it worked even better than the Albuterol, because it was constantly cycling moisture back into my throat and lungs. These days I put it on when I start to run and I only take it off if my breathing has leveled off and been slow and even for more than two or three minutes.

So my advice honestly is to put on a covid mask -- it doesn't have to be fabric, a KN95 will work -- and exert yourself until you've been breathing heavily for a few minutes. If you don't feel wheezy/asthmastic, or at least feel less than usual, that's a pretty good sign it's asthma. You can talk to your doctor about an inhaler, but exercise-induced asthma is pretty predictable, so if a mask helps I wouldn't bother with a diagnosis -- just wear it when working out, and maybe keep a spare on your person if you tend to get out of breath in non-workout situations.

I feel a little foolish running on the street in a covid mask, to the point where I've been tempted to embroider "IT'S FOR MY ASTHMA" on the front, but at least I can run again when I'm wearing one.

[rivalswrites]

HELLO Could you do headcanons with Magik, Lin Lie and anyone you want with a reader who has ice powers? I LOVE YOUR BLOCK PLEASE KEEP DOING THIS🙏���🙏🏻🙏🏻

How they are with your ice powers!

Before you read, please be warned that I'm writing based on my impressions of them not only in the game (though it's the biggest inspiration), but some of them with the movies/shows in mind too.

My first request (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

Masterlist

Having mystical powers isn't anything new to Illyana, but she won't treat anyone any differently because they do or don't have magical abilities. Her whole life she's been around mutants, so it's something she's used too.

With that said, she doesn't at all mind your powers- and in fact, even enjoys them sometimes. They're very useful to her, in battle and in everyday life. Useful as in she appreciated them and wants to keep you close for that extra support, not so she can straight up use you as a puppet.

Being basically the queen of hell, and just how she is in general, Illyana tends to run a bit on the hotter side, even when it's freezing out. Like a portable heater. And in all honesty? She likes it when you use your ice powers on or around her, the coldness is a nice comparison to how she usually is.

And, in battle she enjoys watching you freeze people, it makes her smile at the funnier moments that happen. She takes advantage of people being frozen, easier targets and all that, but also uses the ice as a distraction for her to come up behind people.

Overall: Illyana appreciates your company, and tends to try and keep you around. Not just for the ice powers, obviously, but they're a bonus.

Ice is nothing new to him, having been on a team with Luna (who famously has ice powers too), but that doesn't mean he pushes your powers off to the side just because he's seen it before.

He actually enjoys seeing what you do with them, how differently you use them compared to how he's seen them be used. Training goes well with him, oftentimes he likes to watch as you practice whatever it is you do with your powers. He likes watching people train, to see if he can incorporate it into his own skills (though there's not much he can do since he doesn't have ice powers).

Sometimes he asks for you to make Ice targets for him to train on.

In battle he tries to stick by you, but he's a very mobile person so it's not always easy. He does check up on you though. Don't take it as something offensive, he knows you and take care of yourself- those enemies didn't freeze themselves- he's just worried about you, as he does with all his friends.

After a long day of whatever it is you two did- be it training, fighting, or even just doing chores- he enjoys sharing a chilled drink with you; courtesy of you. If you fought or trained, he finds it funny that you make his own icepack for him to put on his sore muscles or any bruises he got.

Overall: Lin has no issue with it, and really enjoys being in your company. He knows when he's training for has gotten hurt, he can come to you for help, and he really likes that.

[preposterousjams]

My opinion on the Latino Jason Todd headcanon

While I do understand ppl's criticism of the latino Jason todd headcanon and how its kind of racist to make the kid with parents with drug problems as the latino one, to me its more of a reclamation BECAUSE of DC's racism.

Read any 80s/90s batman issue that covers gang violence and drugs, most if not ALL of the criminals are poc; black people and latinos visibly make up the majority in the poorer neighbourhoods in Gotham. Aside from the caricaturist way they r drawn/speak, its not THAT weird cause its a reflection of irl big cities where immigrants and marginalised ppl are often forced to live in such situations, (like most of my dominican family lives in the bronx... it aint racist to say dominicans tend to flock there), BUT...the weird part is when the second a sympathetic character comes from that area, he's white and has a name thats "too fancy for the streets".

Obviously, Jason was created to look like the old robin, so I can't say that the whole "diamond in the rough" situation was purposely a tad bit racist, but its still a lil weird (especially with bruce's comment).

If Jason were a part of the overwhelming demographic in his area, the good-kid-in-a-bad-area trope has less connotations. DC is currently trying to fix this trope is by making crime alley whiter, which isn't bad but they could've just yk... humanised the non-white residents.

I also feel like the messed up way Jason was treated post-death is what makes him so relatable to latino readers. His tragic story of dying while trying to save his only living relative is turned into a lesson for newer vigilantes. Jason's particular disdain for abusers on a few occasions was twisted (by both writers and characters) into him always being dumb, reckless, cocky, angry and disobedient, always violent, never having been able to get over his upbringing. None of those things were true (he was a normal level of reckless and cocky like every other robin, not more), but its an easier narrative to digest compared to how it was in reality; a kid who worked so hard and loved even harder, died to save a woman who couldn't care less about his existence. He was an emotional AND smart kid who wanted so bad to help others get better but was remembered as too emotional (in a bad way).

THIS is the reality for many latino diasporas in day to day life; Theres no question that Latino culture is passionate and emotive, but people from other cultures assume that it is followed by instead of logical. both can coexist. emotion does not mean u have no logic. Emotions can be irrational but they aren't inherently that way, and I wouldn't say that the moments where Jason lashed out as a teenager were irrational (in og runs, not rewrites post red hood), they were mostly done to protect someone (going crazy on abusers, disobeying batman to save sheila, that time he got into a fight at school to defend his friend).

A lot of euro-centric culture is OBSESSED with the idea that rationality is separate from feelings and emotions, but not crying at a funeral doesn't mean you're better than those who do. Emotions are the basis of human ethics and morals, they define the way we interact as a collective and ignoring them does not mean they are not there. Theres no winner to a contest of who can feel the less. And the way Jason's emotions are treated (pre-rh, hes definitely unhinged afterwards lol) is so in line with how white culture tends to punish those who aren't ashamed to feel.

I TOTES UNDERSTAND that some ppl who headcanon Jason as latino are doing it for the complete opposite of reasons, like "oh here some angry emotional guy with druggie parents, haha must be latino". Its weird. I dont like it. And its only brought up so he can swear in spanish in some rlly bad text post where his emotions are getting out. But to me there's so much potential for metanarrative and commentary on how latinos are treated in media that can be exemplified through the way his character is treated. Being latino would add SO MUCH DEPTH to his character and his dynamic with the others.

[rosesnbooks]

Sagittarius placements

sun in sagittarius: they are passionate about travelling and meeting interesting people. they work to live, not live to work. their free time is very important to them. life feels like an adventure, and they like people who can keep up with their pace. they can get wrapped up in their own thoughts and form strong opinions, sometimes forgetting what it's like to be someone with a different perspective. they may hurt people unintentionally because they're so focused on their goals and having fun that they forget about others or don’t give them enough attention. however, at their best, they can be very caring, and their energy can light up the room. they usually take care of their health and enjoy physical activities. they try to stay optimistic, even when life feels heavy. everyone i’ve met with this placement values humor deeply, and they often use it to cope with their issues; sometimes to their own detriment and to others’. many of them move through life at a fast pace and keep their calendar full, while others prefer to explore their interests more privately.

moon in sagittarius: super funny and magnetic. they are known for their humor—whether it's dry or happy-go-lucky, they’re naturals at it. they’re usually loved by the general public, and they know how to make people feel seen and at ease around them. they’re ambitious and like to go after their dreams. they’re willing to take risks and don’t let fear rule them. they tend to care deeply about people and have a strong moral code. they can be really empathetic and sweet. they value honesty. i think a lot of them seem untouchable—like they’re almost too good to be true, which is why people don’t always approach them or flirt with them. those who are on the toxic side want everything to go their way and may try to push their beliefs onto others. they can say really hurtful things without batting an eye, and they sometimes value power too much. hm, i also feel like there are lots of lgbtqa+ people with this placement. their looks and energy feel very youthful. they’re passionate and unique. many sag moons have wildly different qualities, and yet you can always spot them.

ascendant / rising in sagittarius: people tend to be charmed by them easily. they seem like the kind of person you can have fun with and joke around a lot. they’re independent spirits who dislike staying in one place for too long. i feel like one half of them comes off as a bit mysterious and different, while the other half seems charming and outgoing. they tend to attract attention, whether they admit it or not. they like people who can switch between topics easily and keep the convo light. no matter how approachable they seem, it often feels like they’re hiding their depth from most people—just like many of us do. they show their vulnerable side only to those closest to them, and even then, it feels like they’re still processing things and holding some parts back. their hair usually looks healthy and voluminous, and they tend to have nice skin.

mercury in sagittarius: intellectuals! they tend to keep a positive mindset and have a deep desire to be understood—and to understand the world around them. sometimes, they feel like no one really gets them. they’re smart and know how to use their capabilities in ways that benefit them. some people find them a bit insensitive or dramatic, while others see them as sweet and fun to be around. they can be pretty memeable, and they often talk a lot. some have a chaotic way of speaking—like starting a sentence about dairy products and somehow ending up in a discussion about capitalism; not everyone can keep up. their mind is constantly on the run, filled with innovative ideas. they’re drawn to people and institutions that allow them to explore their desires and seek answers to big questions. they may clash with very sensitive or introverted people because they don’t always understand how those people operate—this can lead to misunderstandings or tension. on the other hand, some of those same people might appreciate them for their attentiveness and how they gently point out when more sensitivity or grounding is needed. they’re often expressive with their gestures and facial expressions.

venus in sagittarius: one word: space. they need it. they dislike people who are too obsessive or possessive. they need room to breathe and to feel like they’re their own individual at the end of the day. they want partners who understand that. they tend to wear interesting patterns and colors, and they often like to stand out. they especially love a good compliment. they’re sensitive souls who want to experience love as something warm, adventurous, freeing, and interesting. they’re drawn to people who bring something new into their world and expand their perspective. they tend to avoid those who feel too intense or emotionally heavy. to keep them interested, little adventures and making them feel heard and cared for can do wonders. sometimes, they feel like they might be too much for others in the long run—so they look for someone reliable and honest. their love feels like the comfortable warmth of a fireplace and the excitement you get at an amusement park. they’re fun to be around, and their minds work in mysterious, interesting ways. if they decide to let you into their close circle, you’ll feel honored. some of them go through multiple partners before finding the right one, because not many people fit their criteria in terms of character and lifestyle. the toxic ones just like to cheat. they’re usually very spiritual and/or religious, and they prefer people who share their worldviews.

mars in sagittarius: these people have such intense outbursts of energy sometimes! especially when they’re talking about something they love or experiencing something exciting. once they start talking or doing something while spending time with someone, they won’t stop until they’ve used up all their energy—or you explicitly tell them to calm down lol. it’s sweet, really. they love learning new things, especially from different kinds of people. absorbing knowledge lights a spark in them. if they like you and think of you as a good speaker, they’ll listen attentively. but if you catch them daydreaming while you talk, they’re either not interested or just too wrapped up in their own thoughts. i haven’t met a person with this placement who hasn’t traveled to a foreign country multiple times, no matter their budget. they usually move out of their native country or at least live somewhere else for a while. their laugh is something people remember—it’s big, endearing, and usually fills the room. they often experiment with their hair and personal style. they’re usually not that direct and tend to act only when you’ve crossed way too many lines. but if you hurt someone they love, they really struggle with self-control, in my experience.

saturn in sagittarius: these people may have a complex relationship with religion and spirituality. despite having a strong desire to travel, things often get in the way, making the process difficult or even impossible at times. they’re very independent and like to do things their own way—which can either help them grow or create obstacles and enemies along the way. they’re charismatic and funny, and they tend to attract a lot of people, forming many connections—but rarely emotionally fulfilling ones. some of them need to learn how to rely on others more and open up when they’re feeling low. life seems to test them repeatedly until they learn to become more open-minded and, in some cases, more spiritual. some struggle in their academic lives, but those who persevere and have the means to work through their challenges often achieve great grades and experiences. they may explore different careers until they find one that truly fits them.

jupiter in sagittarius: very lucky individuals. they have lots of interests and seek adventure wherever they go. they learn from other people and cultures and are curious about all things spiritual. many of them know how to transfer their knowledge productively, so they make excellent teachers. they’re constantly evolving and are naturally good at manifesting. people are usually very drawn to their personalities—whether they’re on the louder or quieter side, there’s something familiar and warm about them. they also have a way with words, so public speaking or writing can be a passion of theirs. they’re often good-looking, have a strong sense of aesthetic, and may even be known for it. i’ve noticed they generally have longer faces and are often above-average height—or even really tall. they can have strong humanitarian desires, and they love to travel. they are truly special people♡

☆disclaimer: i am not a professional, so take this with a grain of salt☆

[valiantothello]

Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying, Chapter 2: Roots

Its moments like this that show me how Dick is truly so much better than me. If a random kid walked up to me and said that about my father who just decked me in the face and told me to not come back, I'd get violent 😭.

And the funny thing is, we as the reader know that Dick has been "paying back" what he "owes" Bruce, as Tim says it. Batman Year Three shows Dick going to talk to Bruce after talking with his therapist *post-New Titans #53 in the hopes of settling the issues between them.

"DON'T YOU DARE BLAME ME FOR JASON'S DEATH!"

*New titans #53

Never say Dick doesn't go to therapy, guys

This all happens relatively close to each other, timeline wise. I'm pretty sure it's Dick; finds out Jason is dead, goes to Bruce, gets punched, leaves, has a Titans meeting and fires Danny Chase because he cant stomach mentoring someone so young anymore, goes to his therapist then goes to talk to Bruce again. Bruce isn't left to his own devices for very long, is what I'm trying to say. For even more reference, Jason dies in Batman #429: A Death in the Family and Dick comes back for his second talk with Bruce in Batman #436: Batman Year Three.

"BRUCE? BRUCE, WE'VE GOT TO-" "IT'S ALFRED, SIR. MASTER BRUCE IS GONE." "HE HAD TO KNOW I WANTED TO SPEAK WITH HIM, SO HE RAN BEFORE WE HAD OUR CONFRONTATION. ALFRED, I'M DEFINITELY FEELING YOU'RE RIGHT. SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH HIM, AND HE'S AVOIDING THE VERY PEOPLE WHO COULD TRY TO HELP HIM." "OUR CONVERSATIONS HAVE BEEN MINIMAL AT BEST-- --AND ONLY WHEN I AM TENDING TO HIS WOUNDS... WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING BEFORE-- WHICH ARE MORE FREQUENT THAN I HAVE EVER SEEN BEFORE." "THE TITANS BEEPER. HOLD A SEC."

Batman #437: Batman Year Three

He goes to find Bruce but ends up finding out how much excessive force Bruce is using on his opponents. It's so bad that Dick has to call an ambulance for a guy Bruce left behind on his rampage.

"HE KEPT SHOUTIN AT US--WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT THE GANG KILLINGS."

"WANTED TO KNOW WHAT WAS GOING DOWN THE GRAPEVINE" "I HEARD A RUMOR--NOTHIN' MORE. I SWEAR IT 'BOUT RICKY ROSSELLI... I TOLD BATMAN WHAT I HEARD." "BUT HE DIDN'T BELIEVE 'IM. HE KEPT HITTIN' JACKY TILL JACKY COULDN'T TALK NO MORE." "I'M CALLING FOR AN AMBULANCE. WHEN I'M DONE, I WANT YOU TO TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU TOLD BATMAN." 'What's HAPPENED to you, Bruce? what's going on?'

Batman #437: Batman Year Three

He ends up finding Bruce, only to get shrugged off. They play a game of cat and mouse: Dick chasing after Bruce, trying to get him to open up to him and Bruce running away from facing both his feelings AND Dick.

"WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO OPEN UP, BRUCE? YOU CAME SO CLOSE. WHY DID YOU SHUT DOWN ALL OVER AGAIN?"

Batman #437: Batman Year Three

Essentially, Dick takes up the brunt of the emotional labour in this book but Bruce is not allowing Dick to help. He says this when confronted by Dick about it:

Batman #437: Batman Year Three

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

"I HAVE SOME THEORIES I WANT TO CHECK OUT." "THEN I'M COMING WITH YOU." "NO! I DON'T NEED ANY PARTNERS."

The crux of the problem that Tim just doesn't get is that it's not about Dick not being Robin. Dick has been attempting to connect with Bruce, despite what he's done to him. The problem is Bruce rejecting partnership of any kind. He is pushing Alfred away, he is pushing Dick away. He cannot stomach the idea of a team anymore.

My point circles back to the idea of Dick owing something to Bruce. Dick owes Bruce nothing that he hasn't paid for in the form of years of loyalty, love and forgiveness. He will help Bruce time and time again and now the idea of debt is being thrown in his face and its like?? I think Tim saying that highlights how out the loop he really is on the Dick-Bruce relationship, despite everything he finds out, he has only gleamed the surface.

This was supposed to be a funny shitpost and it became meta oh ok 👍

[genderkoolaid]

I am currently taking a sociology and gender studies course in college, and it’s been really fun so far. But I feel kinda weird whenever the teacher brings up masculinity and femininity, and just certain gender stuff in general. I talked to her about my concerns, and she assured me that she was going to be adding stuff by trans and nonbinary scholars later in the course. But the thing that’s bothering me is the seeming lack of mention of trans men.

One of the things that stood out was when we were discussing patriarchy and she defined it as the subordination of femininity to masculinity. Which, like, yeah, but expressing masculinity isn’t rewarded in those expected to be feminine. And it feels as though the teacher is missing some important nuance.

I am not really sure I’m explaining it properly, but I was wondering if you had any suggestions of things I could read or do to make sure I am able to argue for trans masculinity if it does become a problem. Because right now I just have weird vibes but am unsure how to argue my point.

Ahhhh I've been in a very similar situation. I hope your professor is more amenable to critique than mine.

Here are some articles that come to mind:

Tracing a Ghostly Memory in My Throat: Reflections on Ftm Feminist Voice and Agency by C. Jacob Hale

Trans. Panic. Some Thoughts toward a Theory of Feminist Fundamentalism by Bobby Noble (also the author of the book Sons of the Movement: FtMs Risking Incoherence on a Post-Queer Cultural Landscape)

Trans. Feminism: Or, Reading Like A Depressed Transsexual by Cameron Awkward-Rich

Both Eraserhead and TERFs, Trans Mascs, and Two Steve Feminism by Jude Doyle examine the relationship between transmascs, oppression & feminism and expose the flaws in how feminism tends to approach transmasc issues

All of those are available online & are explorations by transmasculine feminists of the relationship between transmasculinity and feminism, encouraging people to think critically about feminism and what the transmasc experience teaches us about the patriarchy. Jude Doyle's work in particular is approachable and hits directly on many of the problems with how cis feminists tend to approach transmasculinity in feminism. bell hooks work on masculinity/manhood is also very valuable although it does not discuss transmasculinity directly, especially because she focuses more on the impact of race & class.

You could also bring up specific examples of anti-transmasc violence. This BBC article about the camionas of Chile, for example shows how for people seen as female, being masculine can be dangerous in ways that those who perform femininity are not affected by. There's a long history of masculinity in people seen as female being labeled a kind of madness, hysteria, and/or schizophrenia, and people being institutionalized as a result– this has been happening for centuries and is still very present in the world today.

It is blatantly obvious in the lived experiences of transmasculinized people that patriarchal oppression cannot be fully described by "femininity is subordinate to masculinity." And why would any feminist framework that was developed without the recognition of trans people be able to account for our experiences? Feminism that is not willing to be challenged on pretty fundamental levels by transness is not productive feminism. We need to have as much a voice in anti-patriarchal theorization as cis women. To get there, cis feminists need to realize just how deep trans & transmasc erasure runs, how entirely our experiences have been left out, how much of patriarchy & gender is left untheorized by cisfeminism because we cannot fit neatly into cis frameworks.

[astroyongie]

My Opinion On The Moon Signs and Placements 

Note: the venus placements will be next <33 hope you guys like it, also take it lightly its just my opinion on the placements and not necessarily the true

Aries Moon: I often have a hard time reading Aries moons because they have such an intense way of communicating their emotions. they are either all in or all out and there isn't mid terms with them. Aries' moon is fierce, their instinct tingles. Some people see them as selfish people.  

Taurus Moon: they are so much more than what meets the eye. They tend to be pretty rational with what happens around them, yet they can be quite intuitive as well despite not being a water sign. They are the type to hide their emotions so well, but also to run away from them. They are often emotionally stable but their ability to hold grudges is.. scary

Gemini Moon: There’s this stereotype that gemini moods are emotional wrecks because we never know how they are feeling and also because they exhibit huge emotional swings depending on their environment and people they are with. The true is they don't understand what they feel deep down so they are often just as confused  

Cancer Moon: Again they have this stereotype that they are super sensible, emotional and super manipulators. Although in some cases this can be true, cancer moon is also someone that has that protective fire in them, they have such a huge protective instinct. They are super pessimists tho

Leo Moon: They aren’t as egocentric as one can think. Yes, they will put themselves first in certain situations but that’s because people tend to also take their loyalty and their warmth for granted. They are a little dramatic when they are feeling stuff.  

Virgo Moon: Virgo moons often have a sharp instinct, they have a good memory as well and they always try to process their emotions through rationalizing them, which often hurts because they don't allow their emotions to be processed. They fear losing control over what they feel. 

Libra Moon: Their head is a big mess, they never know who to trust, what to feel and how to understand their feelings. often these placement gets co dependent on other people for their emotions because they kind are unable to live by themselves with their own heads 

Scorpio Moon: Of course that they are intense, they feel things deeply and with all its rawness. Their intuition is high, they can read people so well and they do have empathetic feelings toward others. When they are in love, it's so beautiful but the trust issues of this placement is no joke 

Sagittarius Moon: My opinion on them might be a little biased but gosh, they are so intense, in a way that their emotions are so outbrusting. They can be the happiest person and 5 minutes later they are shifting and it's impulsive and reckless and they have no control over what they are feeling. they have short memory too in my opinion. .

Capricorn Moon: Like most earth placements, Capricorn moons are scared to not be in control of what they feel. They are clever, they are intuitive to a certain point but they are way too cautious and don't allow their emotions to be fully processed. Sometimes they like sensitivity or lack understanding toward other people’s feelings because they see it as dramatism. 

Aquarius Moon: Please someone enlighten me about them because I swear I don't understand them. they way of feeling, they way they expose things, they way they remember things. their brain, their emotional output is not conventional and is different from other people,which often makes them misunderstood. but their lack of empathy and their lack of seeing things through other perceptions is also the cause. 

Pisces Moon: Yes, another stereotype that they are overly sensitive and that they are cry babies. but their intuition is huge, their emotional sponge is hard to control.yet they can also be the most cold placements ever. if they don't want to feel, they won’t. their escapism ability is out of this world 

Moon in the 1st House: Usually they are seen as people that are caregivers. They are often leaned on due to their ability to be able to understand others and always find solutions when it comes to solving issues. They have a very soft personality and they are reliable yet people often take advantage of them because they can’t say no. they have that dreamy beauty in them as well  

Moon in the 2nd House: Their whole emotional being depends on how they live their life, on how comfortable they are and how much of the dream life they can live. More often, people with this placement tend to want luxury in their life and they can be an emotional wreck when their values, their possessions or their goals are shattered by life. 

Moon in the 3rd House: these people are super smart, like socially and emotionally smart. They make such good teachers, therapists but also manipulators because they are able to use people’s strengths and weaknesses to their own expenses but also to help others. They overthink a lot though, and they tend to suffer a lot from their own emotional health. 

Moon in the 4th House: They put a lot of importance in what they consider to be their roots, their culture and their family. They are often family oriented, they love kids and kids love them. some of them can even have that superpower of knowing when someone is pregnant! Some also have taken since young age the role of parent or responsibility in their household 

Moon in the 5th House: The creativity that they have is unmatched, the talent that they have for arts, for self expression through their body and their hobbies is amazing. definitely a good placement when one wants to pursue a career in the arts related businesses and professions. These people also have a very funny sense of humor, and they are hopeless romantics. 

Moon in the 6th House: This placement can be tricky because it can make someone super emotional, to struggle a lot with their health in general (both emotional and physical). Yet these people also have a good sense in business and they can easily get the career of their dreams just by the power of manifestation. 

Moon in the 7th House: They are hopeless romantics as well, they live for their love life, they live for romance, for relationships. People with these placements often tend to be unable to stay alone for a long time and not having someone to love is something that causes them inner turmoil and pain. they have such a good instinct tho, and their love truly is pure 

Moon in the 8th House: their emotional intuition is no joke, these people are not only gifted when it comes to the occult and the spiritual world, some can also have the power to predict changes, shifts and even physical death due to their strong and sharp sense of intuition. They are super emotional as well and often tend to suffer from that. They can’t let go of past feelings

Moon in the 9th House: They are so smart, a lot of people with this placement have a photographic memory, like they are able to remember every single detail. They are people who often feel either connected with their religion and practice, or they are connected with their education, their traditions and overall values. they can have such impactful, deep conversions as well due to the way they are passionate about these things. 

Moon in the 10th House: Their whole well being is only based on one thing: their status and their career. Nothing much is important to them other than what they are able to bring into life for themselves. some people might think that they are arrogant or lack emotional maturity, but this placement is actually a placement that demands to be stable in their overall life, in order to be able to be healthy emotionally 

Moon in the 11th House: Their friendships are super important to them, but so is their social reputation, their emotional well being is often tied with how well they are perceived by others. They want to be seen as reliable and cool, for some even popular. They easily make friends but they get attached quickly as well. they have a strong manifestation 

Moon in the 12th House: Similarly to the 6th house, people with this placement can have some struggles with their emotions. yet they can also be so damn intuitive and have gifts when it comes to the spiritual world and the sensing of the spiritual world. Yet these people are also seen as weird by others and because of that they can feel lonely all their life. they self sabotage themselves because of that 

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

May I request forget-me-nots and marigold for Leona and Malleus?

Leona Kingscholar:

🌻forget-me-nots: what do they do to get their s/o’s attention?

Leona is a natural show-off, so natural that it won’t even appear that’s what he’s doing. Some might also call it being a sore loser but it’s best displayed in Magift where some of his motivation can still be found, sometimes. It’s a show of not just strength but cunning, taking down opponents with a flourish, a grin on his face that’s not often seen.

🌻marigold: how jealous do they get? how do they react when they get jealous?

Leona’s jealousy is quiet and seething, kept mostly to himself as he didn’t want someone to have one up on him. He doesn’t get jealous easily as he’s self-assured that your romantic interest is with him alone, as you had passed many of his tests (more like maneuvered through his many mental obstacles to finally prove your interest in him extended beyond that of fawning over a prince). Yet he doesn’t like when people get too close to you, arm casually draped around your shoulder or pulling you into an awkward hug of greeting; he hated to smell them on you, having to cover you with his own scent just to reset the balance.

Malleus Draconia:

🌻forget-me-nots: what do they do to get their s/o’s attention?

Malleus has the divine ability to walk into a room and get the attention of everybody in it. His imposing stature, his intense gaze, those beautiful curved horns on his head, he was quite the pretty picture with a commanding presence to go with it. When he talks with you is when you know you’ve caught his eye, and once you’ve caught his, you’ve got everyone else’s as well.

🌻marigold: how jealous do they get? how do they react when they get jealous?

Malleus’ jealousy depends on the intentions of the other person. If they were people you were good friends with that he also knew and could trust, he didn’t tend to get jealous. He did enjoy spending his time with you but had long since accepted he had to share you with others, and since you always came back to him eager to soak in his attention, he couldn’t find anything to complain about. But when it’s with a person who looks at you the way he looks at you, who yearns for your attention without you even realizing, Malleus’ patience runs thin. He doesn’t even like them being near you in a group setting, letting alone hanging out one on one, but he tried to bite his tongue as you had gotten upset about his ‘lack of trust in you’ the last time he had raised an issue.   

[xveenusx]

Indifference

Paring(s): Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Summary: Two people who are in love, well he used to be

Authors note: you guys like when I make you cry

Rating: angsty

Warnings: it'll hurt :)

__________________

He was late.

Time was a funny thing. Minutes turned to hours which rolled into days then suddenly months began to blur into years. In that time, people tend to go out and experience things, falling in and out of love, enjoying everything life had to offer.

Yet, I somehow found myself motionless, the spark that once ignited my core had been stifled to a small ember. Life continued to pass by while I remained glued in one place, watching as everyone around me attempted to achieve some form of happiness.

I was once like that. Filled with some much hope for a life with someone I loved, who showed up to support me and believed in my capability, because at one time in my life that was exactly what Rafe was.

Like I said, time was a funny thing. The more time passes with your partner, the more comfortable they seem to get. They stop trying. However, at what point does being comfortable become almost negligent?

Dates were canceled, appointments missed, and important accomplishments forgotten the more time went on. Rafe’s priorities shifted and I went from being the center of his world to being a planet merely circling his gravitational pull.

In his mind, we were forever, so a couple of cancellations here and there and bouts of forgetfulness were nothing in the span of things. I would have agreed had the cancellations not doubled with time or our conversations going from intimate and deep to surface level at best.

He was never home. It was always just me in this large house on figure 8.  Suddenly, he went from being the moon and the stars to just a bleak, unforgivable starless night. Cold and dark.

We had met when we were 16 and he was every bit a spoiled little rich boy that had extreme daddy issues, but there was more to him than that. I picked at his defenses until finally they shattered, and I was engulfed by all of him.

He was just different around me and that fact alone left me delighted. It made me feel special, almost stupidly so.

Things between Rafe and his father were already tense enough since Rafe bought a motorbike with the money he was supposed to spend on the generator. Then everything began to snowball out of control from there. He threw himself into his father’s work and when he wasn’t doing that, he was with Kells and Topper doing god knows what and snorting anything he could find.

Despite all of this, Rafe always kept me close and always let me in. 

Last year, when Ward had gone with Sarah and John B to South America, and didn’t return, something shifted inside him. His defenses were rebuilt, only this time he left me on the outside, and no matter how hard I tried to break him down brick by brick, nothing worked. He became obsessed with running Ward’s real estate empire better than he ever did.

Rafe was a cold and calculated legacy with a large chip on his shoulder that made him lethal against competing firms. He chewed them up and spit them out.

With every major milestone, it was never enough for him, and like a man possessed he continued to ruthlessly target anyone that had done him wrong. We had everything and yet the bitterness seemed to consume him. He was someone I saw once a day if I was lucky. He always left before I woke up and was never home by the time I went to bed and suddenly we were glorified roommates.

Once upon a time, I would stay up waiting for him with my heart in my hand, hoping to connect in any way. Even if I only had a few minutes to spend with him before he went to sleep, it was enough for me. But, 10 pm became 11 pm which turned into 12 am and so I gave up. My sleep schedule was already a mess as thoughts and insecurities pestered my mind of another woman.

“Any word from him yet? Some of the donors are asking for him?” The question pulls me out of my thoughts and I turn to face my assistant, Rai.

Her question is innocent enough, but I can hear the slight concern in her voice and I know she has her doubts which only serves as another humiliating reminder that Rafe has done this to me repeatedly.

But this was different. He knew how important this charity dinner was to the shelter I opened up for women and children who suffered from domestic violence.

As someone who came from the cut, it was everywhere and so many didn’t have the means to flee and so they were forced to stay and in the most severe instances, die.

Rafe gave me the start-up money as a gift and it was a huge success that I opened several more as well as fund for scholarships for both the mothers and kids. Which is what brings me to now, a charity dinner and auction to help fund said scholarships and pay for all the shelter necessities.

He promised he would be here. It’s important for the donors to see him here seeing as though he donated a huge sum once more and could ease the minds of those who are teetering on the edge. It’s also important to me. This project is mine, something I created and shared with the world and I want to share it with him too.

I want him to celebrate this accomplishment with me and he is nowhere to be found.

“He’ll be here. Rafe promised.” I clear my throat, “He knows how important this is to me.”

Rai gave me a doubtful look and I know that I couldn’t convince her anymore than I could convince myself. The engagement ring that bore my finger instantly weighed a ton.

Glancing down at the large diamond that once meant the promise of everything, stared back at me as nothing more than a simple accessory.

Rafe had proposed and foolishly I believed that it would save us so I said yes.

I stayed and time and time again, the disappointment slowly began to etch away at the childish hope I tried to cling onto until only a dull ache remained.

“Don’t you look lovely?” Plastering a fake smile onto my face, I let out a sheepish laugh as I take in Kiara’s parents. 

“Thank you guys so much for coming.” The words ring true but I couldn’t help but feel like I was underwater. My focus is shot and I find myself hardly listening with my eyes darting to the front door every minute or so, desperate to see the man I used to think would never stop loving me. 

I float around the room, committed to being a gracious host, because I would not let him take this from me too. Not when he’s taken everything else already. This is the only piece left of me. 

My cheeks hurt two hours later from all the fake smiles and my throat burns from the feigned laughing. The sound of my own voice makes me wince. 

In those two hours, I felt my confidence slowly get chipped piece by piece as everyone questioned where my fiancé was. And for a moment, I hated him. I truly hated him because even this small piece of heaven I made for myself is tied into him. 

Honey, I need to run some numbers with Rafe. Where is he hiding? 

Where is the biggest investor? Surely, he’s here, right?

I haven't seen Mr. Cameron. Has he stepped out? 

With which I responded,” Work emergency, you know how it is. He’s nothing if not committed.” Considering most of these possible donors run their own large companies, they completely understand but it’s their partners reactions that seem to leave me stunned. 

Each had a warm look of understanding dancing in their eyes as I’m sure they’ve used the same excuse time and time again.

I can only take so much. So I excuse myself and glance at the small gold heart shaped watch on my delicate wrist and take note of the time.

There was only 30 minutes left and I haven't gotten so much as a text from him. 

A pit began to form where my stomach used to be as I realized once more that he wasn’t coming. As I stood in a packed room, filled with a flurry of activity, surrounded by people, I’ve never felt more alone.

Then my eyes connect with Mrs. Dune, the wife of a finance guru that works alongside Rafe. She was much older than I, having been with her husband for 30 years but she looked even older. 

It’s almost as though she can read my thoughts, because she sends me a sad smile as she lets her eyes go to where her husband stands talking to other donors. I haven't seen him talk to her the whole night, instead she’s been standing at his side saying nothing. 

I take an uneven breath and my eyes widen in realization. Was this what I had to look forward to? A life sentence of loneliness vacant of any warmth and attention? 

Swallowing hard, I force my eyes away and stare at the door. Begging whoever will listen to please, this once, let me be wrong. I’m so in my thoughts that I’m startled when a soft hand lands on my arm.

“You get used to it. Eventually, you’ll feel nothing.” Mrs. Dune says quietly, her eyes moving back to her husband, with a look I can only describe as longing. 

That’s the thing. I don't want to get used to it. This isn’t how I want to be loved.

“What you’ve accomplished is amazing. Don’t let him take that away from you.” Was her parting words and she left, not sparing her husband another glance. 

When I turn to see if he noticed she left, he’s still engaged in conversations and doesn’t spare her a glance. 

This is not how I want to be loved. 

“Hey, I’ve been looking for you. This is Amy Park.” Rai looks ecstatic as she introduces me to the stunning tall woman next to her. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Park.” The words come out on instinct.

“I wanted to discuss how open you would be to expanding shelters nationwide?”

And for the first time in awhile, a real smile graces my face as I answer her question. 

_____________________

The first thing I notice when I pull into our driveway is the plethora of cars that fill it. The second thing I pick up on is familiar vibrations of music with each step I take along our pathway. 

My front door is wide open as people come in and out, clearly under the influence of something and my chest constricts. 

This is what he’s been doing? This was more important than me? 

Clutching my keys tightly, I welcome the familiar biting against my skin. I recognize many of the faces, most of them having gone to school with Rafe. 

If it was any other night, I would have joined them. We were only 22 and yet have lived what seems to be a hundred lives. But, this is different. He’s different. 

Climbing up the staircase, I head to the balcony where I hear a familiar boast of laughter. 

I cleared my throat. “What’s so funny?”

Heads snap in my direction but my eyes are only on one. One that currently has a short black haired girl nearly in his lap. I recognize her as a bartender at one of the local grills/bars we frequent. 

“Don’t you look gorgeous-“ Topper attempts to run interference, but it’s too late. I raise my hand to silence him. I’ve already seen everything I needed too. 

His body is positioned slightly in front of them as if I was going to body slam them. I might actually. 

“Hey, wait! How did the donor dinner go?” Topper's eyes dart to Rafe’s. “That was tonight right?”

I see the moment everything clicks. His eyes rake down from my newly styled hair to the louboutins in my feet. Everything I wore from the jewelry on my body to the shoes on my feet he bought me, and I’ve never felt more sick.

Rafe clenches his eyes shut as he shakes his head. “Fuck.”

Fuck, indeed.

“Get out of my way, Topper.”

He throws a worried glance to Rafe. “I think maybe-“

“Top, give us a second.” Rafe mutters tensely. He keeps his hard set gaze on me, drilling into me, almost as though he’s daring me to move. 

Kelce stands up giving me an apologetic look. “Rafe, man, there’s a bunch of people here.”

I force myself to look away. 

“Not right now, Kells.” 

He wasn’t wrong. This house was full of people, but the only difference being that none of them matter. Not to me and not to Rafe. 

Steady. Keep steady and just breathe. 

“So what should I do-“

I look at him. Me or them? It was unsaid but he knew what I was asking him. 

“Back the fuck off and give me a fucking second with my girl.” Rafe barks out, running a rough hand through the short cropped strands that brush against his forehead. 

Both hold their hands up in mock surrender before shuffling off to the side. The girl doesn’t get up. 

Topper coughs. “Sophia.” 

Her eyes take me in with clear distaste. Her hand is still dangerously close to Rafe’s waistband. I raise a single eyebrow giving her one last opportunity to move. 

She doesn’t. Not when Kelce calls out for her either.

Sophia made her bed. Setting my bag down, I take three big steps before I’m roughly shoving her off the couch sending her sprawling on the floor. 

Rafe let’s out a curse but makes no move to help her. At least he’s not stupid.

“Get out.” The words leave no room for negotiation.

The glare she sends me is filled with ice. “I was invited.”

Kelce lets out a groan before whispering,”Is she serious?”

The fake smile I’ve perfected over the years decorated my face as I bent down to her height on the floor. 

Flashing my engagement ring in her face. “Get out of my fucking house.”

That seems to shut her up and I watch with narrowed eyes as she struts away, Topper and Kelce in tow.

I can hear my heart pounding in my ears while my chest feels like it’s going to explode. I turn around slowly to face my damnation. 

My heels click against the marble floor and with each step I take, the more the ache in my chest grows. Marching up to Rafe, I grab his chin and force him to look at me. Those familiar glacial blue eyes are red. His pupils are blown wide and my chest cracks wide open. 

He’s high. 

This is not how I want to be loved. 

This is what he wanted to do instead of being there for me. Instead of supporting me. Instead of loving me. 

Dying would be less painful.

 I stare directly into those eyes, searching for an answer, wondering when the love he felt for me slowly became indifference.

I’d almost rather there be a mistress rather than this cold indifference.

“Did you have fun at least?” My words are soft but the intention is anything but. 

He says nothing. Instead Rafe studies me like I’m a wounded animal. 

Dark. Beautiful. Cruel. 

Those are the words I’d use to describe the man in front of me. The gaze that once felt like a soft caress on my skin now felt clinical. 

“It seems like you’re having fun.” I quip, flicking the small bag filled with familiar white powder. 

I thought I could fix him. I will not make that mistake again.

“I completely forgot-“

“How?” I ask. 

His eyes narrow like he’s trying to figure me out. “Work got insanely busy. You know how it is. Even if I own the place, I’m young and the older guys don’t respect me.”

“It was in your work calendar.” 

“No, it wasn’t-“

“It was also on your personal calendar and our joint one. I had your assistant send you a reminder email. So my question is how?” My voice wobbled and it was only by a small miracle that I didn’t throw something in his face. “How did you forget the only thing I’ve asked you for?” 

Something flickered in his eyes. “It wasn’t intentional. It slipped my mind.”

“Something I worked so hard to accomplish just slipped your mind?” Exhaustion has finally got the better of me and I finally let him see just how much he’s managed to chip away. 

“I should have been there for you and I’m so sorry,” His throat flexed a hard swallow. “But there will be other dinners.” 

The dull ache in my chest thrummed harder. Rafe was brushing this off, just like he always did. My skin flushed. 

At my silence, he braces his elbows on his knees and leans forward, tracking my every move. “I feel like you’re not understanding me.”

“No, I understand you just fine. It just wasn’t important enough for you.”

He stilled. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

Of course it wasn’t what he meant but he’s managed to make me feel so insignificant. So small. 

“I know that you’ve canceled most of our dates for work. Even an anniversary once. I know that you missed the grand opening of the shelter that I spent a year and half planning.” I force the words out, each breath I take feeling like needles. “I asked for this one thing, Rafe and you couldn’t even give me that.” 

“What about everything I have given you? This house, the car you drive in, the clothes on your back, the boat?”

It’s like I’m staring at 16 year old Rafe again. To him, material things were the equivalent to love. He couldn’t be farther from the truth.

I find that I was much happier when I had little to nothing, than I am now, sitting here with everything, in my gown and jewels. 

“I didn't ask for any of those things.” By the stubborn gleam in his eyes, I knew he was going to fight me on everything. 

Lately, his tactic was always combative and it was easier to give in or to not say anything at all. 

 “No, but you took them all the same. I fucked up, I get that. I know what this shelter means to you, but that doesn’t change the fact that you wouldn’t even have it if it weren’t for me.”

A familiar buzzing filled my ears. His words were ugly but they weren’t a lie. Even my project was his. I had nothing of my own.

I wonder how many other people came to the same revelation. Maybe that’s why so many of them asked where he was? Because this accomplishment wasn’t mine, no clearly it was his.

There is not enough room in my chest for the ache he caused. 

Words can’t seem to make it to my lips. I think my brain has finally broken and realizes that no words I say will get him to change. 

Smoothing out my dress, I stand on shaky legs before kicking off my heels. He can keep them. With that, I leave him out on the porch and make a beeline towards our his room. 

Opening the closet doors, I reach for the suitcase before setting it on the bed. I wasn’t going to be like Mrs. Dune and waste away beside a man that used to love me, hoping that one day he will once more. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” The words are hard and low. 

Rafe stands at the door, his arms crossed over his chest. His face is brewing with several emotions I can't quite place. 

It was funny. I haven't seen this much emotion from him in months.

I ignore him and toss some clothes from my dresser into the open suitcase, making sure to grab only the clothes I needed.

I slowly take off each piece of jewelry and set it on my vanity. He can keep everything he so gloriously mentioned he bought. 

“You loved me once.” I state, tilting my head to the side. I rake over every detail of his face, knowing I’ll never forget it. 

I loved him once too. 

His face morphed to one of confusion before disbelief. “I still love you. That’s never changed.” 

I shake my head. “Yes, it has.”

Rafe stalks towards me, his hand reaching to burl around my neck while the other pulls me to him by my waist. Familiar cologne fills my lungs and I count to ten mentally. It was the same cologne I bought him when we first started dating. 

“I work too much, I know. That’s my fault and I’ll cut back. I’ll be home more and we can spend time together. I’ll do better.” Taking my chin between two fingers, he forces my eyes to his. I see the sincerity in his eyes but I know how this goes. 

The same way it’s gone the last two times. He’ll beg me to stay, promise to change, and things will be good for a month before he slowly starts missing dates or canceling trips we’ve planned months before. Then the cycle repeats. 

“No.” It was time to love myself. Since he clearly couldn’t do it. I will not allow myself to get lost in him again. 

“Baby, just wait. Will you wait-“ He huffs as I try to move around him. No such success as his towering body has me moving back and suddenly I’m caged in by his arms. “Just give me a second, okay?”

“I’ve given you years. I won’t give you another second.” 

“Talk to me.” His voice breaks. “Please just talk to me.”

Longing filled my body. Words I’ve been waiting to hear for months come so easily to him, but only when I already have one foot out the door.

 “I’m alone.” The words come out strangled. “ I’m alone in this. I have been for a long time.”

“What do you mean? Baby, I’m right here.” Rafe’s gripping onto me tighter, almost like he’s ensuring I don’t leave. “I’m right here.”

“You're never here. That’s exactly my point.” 

Rafe’s eyes widen before he shakes his head wildly, staring at me like I’m speaking another language. “That’s not true-“

“What’s today?”

“What?” 

“What’s today?” I repeat, my eyes never leaving his. I want to see every emotion that storms in his eyes, just to remind myself that he is capable of emotion after all. 

“Friday.” 

I smile at him sadly. Exactly my point. “I haven't seen you since Tuesday.” 

“No, that can’t be right. I was with you when we had lunch with-“ He breaks off, reaching for his phone in his pocket. I watch as he pulls up his calendar, an action that mortifies me, and confirms our scheduled date.

 “Tuesday.” He whispers, shocked even. 

I wasn’t. Rafe had to check his calendar to confirm that last time he’s seen his fiancé. 

“You used to come bring me lunch. If you were more than a couple hours, you always found your way to me or gave me a call that you’ll be late.” I shrugged, blinking back the tears stinging my eyes. “Now, I don’t think I’d get a call if you were in the hospital.”

The buzzing in my ears intensifies.

 “You didn’t tell me any of this. None of how you were feeling and you're ready to walk out the door without so much as an argument.” A spark of my old Rafe appears as frustration dances across his face.

“I should have-“

“You’re giving up.” He states, shaking his head in anger. 

Maybe I was. “I’m tired of fighting for us. You gave up a long time ago.” 

Large hands curl around my cheeks, pulling me towards his face. Rafe rests his forehead on mine, his piercing blue eyes darting across my face in panic. 

“I love you. I love you.” He knows he’s grasping at straws, but we feel like strangers now. The words don’t feel like they used to. “You know I love you.”

 “This isn’t how I want to be loved, Rafe. I see you every couple days, the only time we’re ever together is when we have sex.” We lost sight of how we once were. The only thing that remained good between us was sex. 

That alone isn’t healthy. He goes to open his mouth but I cut him off.

“We never talk and when we do, you don’t even listen to me. Your brain is always somewhere else.” 

“I’m in a relationship with a ghost. I’m not letting you suck the life out of me anymore.” My eyes catch the sparkling ring that once brought me such happiness. Now, it simply feels like a ball and chain. 

Before I can convince myself otherwise, I start to tug it off my finger when Rafe truly begins to panic. 

“Don’t do that. Please don’t do that.” I try to hand it to him but Rafe jolts back like he’s been burned. The look he gives my empty hand is nothing short of destroyed.

I think I’m going to throw up. His words are laced with raw grief that makes it hard for me to breathe.

“Put it back on.” I hear the slight tremble in his voice.

“No.” My lips wobble. 

“Please put it back on because if you don’t that means we’re over. That’s not us. We aren’t supposed to end.”

“Rafe, don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

“You’re ripping my fucking heart out of my chest. This isn’t anywhere near hard, it’s excruciating.” Rafe’s hand is notably shaking, but he tries to hide it by clenching and unclenching his palms. 

“Welcome to the last year of my life.” The words are brutal but he needs to hear them. 

“You promised me we’d never end.” 

“You promised to change. I guess we both lied.”

Rafe raises his voice, his arms thrown up in the air in clear distress, “How can you just stand there?”

It was a miracle I haven’t collapsed on my shaky legs yet. The adrenaline pumping though my veins was the only thing getting me through this torture. “Rafe, stop it.”

“You talk about indifference?” Rafe lets out a humorless laugh, shaking his head up at the ceiling. “Who’s heartless now, baby?”

“You don’t get to put this on me. I’ve given you years of my life, showered you with nothing but love and support. I asked for one night, one fucking night, in your busy schedule and you didn’t bother to show up, or send a simple text.” I intake a sharp breath, pushing the hair out of my face with a shaky hand. “Instead, you threw a party in our home and got high.”

I point a finger at his chest, staring at him with open heartbreak. “I needed you,” The tightness in my chest finally pops as I choke on a loud sob, “I needed you and you weren’t there.”

“I lost sight of what’s important to me. I’m just trying to give you everything-” I cut him off. 

Grabbing the clothes I haphazardly tossed in the suitcase, ”You want this? Take it,” I shove them into his chest, “Take all of it. I don’t want it. I’d give this all away in a heartbeat if it meant I could have you back.”

I meant every word. I wanted my best friend back, the person I confided in and depended on. I wanted our late nights back watching trashy reality TV. We used to sit in the bathtub together basking in each other's company. Went on walks along the beach or took the boat out for hours, fucking on the deck, not caring that anyone could see. 

It used to be simple. He loved me and I loved him. 

“I’m angry, baby.I’m so damn angry all the time. At my fucking dad for always having these impossible expections. Then he goes and dies, leaving me without a clue on how to manage everything.” Rafe sags against the wall, exhaustion marring his features, his blue eyes pleading for me to understand. “I feel like I’m drowning all the time.”

I had no idea this was how he was feeling. But, he never let me in. “You could have told me, we’re supposed to be partners in this. You asked me to marry you!”

I think deep down I know that he felt me slipping through his fingers at one point. He could see clearly how unhappy I’ve become and that’s why he proposed. And maybe just like him, I thought the proposal could fix us. This proposal was being manipulated on both ends, it was doomed from the start.

You can’t fix what’s already broken. 

“My head has basically been a war zone and I’m losing. The only thing keeping me sane is that I know, when I walk through that door,” he points to our bedroom door, “I’m going to find you in our bed. Every. Single. Night.” 

“I can’t let the ugly touch you.” My heart splits into two at his words. Words I know feel like acid leaving his mouth. “You’re the only thing I have left.”

“Then you should have taken better care of me. You should have let me take care of you.” 

“Fuck,” He screams, bending down and swiping the lamp clean of the nightstand. The lamp goes flying into the wall, shattering into hundreds of pieces and my eyes are drawn to them. I can’t help but think it reminds me of us.

Dragging my eyes back to his, I fight the urge to wrap him in my arms. Seeing him in pain has never brought me joy, but this was brutal. His eyes shined with unmistakable tears, realizing the strength of my resolve. 

There was no going back this time. There was no trying again. I didn’t have another try in me. 

I grip onto the fabric of my dress moving towards him, my heart pounding out of my chest. He moves instantly, holding out his hand to guide me over the shattered lamp. Why couldn’t he be like this months ago?

Why did he let it get this bad? Why couldn’t he love me?

Now, standing in front of him, I let myself one deep breath, basking in the comforting smell of him. A large hand curls around my neck, his grip strong and firm, demanding my attention. His blue eyes are daunting and so intense, I find myself fighting the urge to look away.

“I’m going to get you back.”

”Take it, Rafe.” I whisper, uncurling his limp hand, “Take it. It doesn’t mean what I want it to.”

Tears blur my vision as I fumble with the ring he refuses to take.

 Rafe shakes his head, clenching his jaw tightly. “There’s no point in taking it off if it’s gonna go right back there in a couple weeks. ”

I can’t help but smile at the determination in his voice. He sounds like the old Rafe and for a second I see a glimmer of who he used to be.

 He had me. Then he lost me. 

This is not how I want to be loved. 

“If spending the next few months without you means that I get to spend a lifetime with you, I can manage. I’ll do whatever I have to.  But don’t think for a second that there is anyone else on this entire fucking planet meant for you.”

That’s how I want to be loved. Too little too late.

I drop the ring.